WARRI WANDERER 2...

Part 2 Men! In all the madness of Warri, I learnt a new vocabulary courtesy of my uncle’s wife (smiling proudly!) It is a symbolic statement that highlights the primitive attempt of my dear Warri conversationists to get a grasp on modernized coinage. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you the word…Guzzle. Hold up! Do not applaud just yet until you are acquainted with the genius of the word. Ok, lemme first warn you that the word isn’t exactly pronounced as it is spelt. That said, I had better give you the pronunciation version and indigenous Warri interpretation. Guzzle-pronounced roughly as ‘Gorzo’ is a coinage meaning ‘to consume alcohol indiscriminately.’e.g “That boy dey gorzo die!” (Thinking of writing a hit song off it sef.) Amongst the many visually stimulating stuff I came across at my motherland, a few stood out as weird while others were outrightly cuckoo! Take for instance a well-used barbers shop called ‘Hair must grow, people must barb!’, Abi na the church wey dem call ‘christ militant church’? Men! Laugh wan break my bb pin sha! I came across a landmark school that stood out in a place called Ekpan and it was a sight to behold. As my uncle pointed out the crumbling apparition with a note of pride in his voice, I wondered at its significance. “This is Ekpan primary school”, he rattled on as he narrowly missed an oncoming okada rider by inches. “It is the oldest school in Warri.” He paused dramatically and it suddenly dawned on me that he was waiting for me to enquire the obvious. “eh..Uncle, how old is it?”, I asked dutifully. He grinned gamely, cleared his throat and announced. “It was established in 1939.” Jesus and his bb messages! I know you are itching to know how the wedding went abi? Patience my dear, patience.